If Jesus were to be born of a Nigerian Mom.
- osaiyuwuthelma
- Jul 19
- 3 min read
Phase One: Angel vs Miss Mary to announce her “virgin status pregnancy”.
First of all; no angel would want to risk appearing in Nigeria (folks here aren’t smiling; if they could, they’d keep the angel here for good) but let’s assume angel miss road and lands here for a certain miss Mary to give her the gist of this unique pregnancy…
We are a group of people that already believe people are after us so seeing a supposedly shining creature with disappearing abilities isn’t as magical as it seems.
A typical Nigerian mother/woman would run before confirming whether the angel was sent by God or the devil.
So, that information may never have been passed across except possibly through a WhatsApp broadcast message (that would get a Nigerian moms attention for sure).
You cannot just appear out of the blue in someone else’s room and tell them not to be afraid and actually expect them to sit and listen to what you have to say.
Wow. Thumbs up to Miss Mary for being so ballsy.
If by some miracle, the angel does pass the information across; believing is another hassle.
Initially, miss Mary may question why and how she’s even pregnant to begin with since she’s a virgin & all.
Then, is it the real Jesus she’s gonna be having and ask if any of her neighbors/friends would also give birth to him again at a different time (got to show off for the haters).
Last last; she may not even name him Jesus because she probably already has traditional names picked out for her first son and Christ as a surname just won’t do. Who will carry on the family name?
Meanwhile, Uncle Joseph is probably already suspecting the angel to begin with (angel appeared and then came pregnancy) when 2+2=22.
Phase Two: Fast forward, they have “born” Jesus.
People are now calling Mary “mama J or mama Messiah” … Let’s not call the Lord’s name in vain. We are a religious society but if they get the chance, they’d send young Jesus to wash plate for them…
Phase Three: Jesus have “grow”.
John 2:3-4
3 When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” 4 And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.”
You say wetin?
A Nigerian mother will forget that you’re sent directly from heaven and ask you who you’re calling “woman”… ehn? No … ma? Wawu!
As most Nigerian mothers say “I brought you into this world, and, I can take you out”.
Or am I the only one who gets subtle warning death threats from my mom?
I’m lowkey jealous of the freedom Jesus had on earth. The grace to just up and leave home without being yelled at by his mother.
The ability to just die for a few days then return briefly only to physically die again for good at such a young age and Mrs. Mary just handled it graciously.
Nigerian Mothers would either escort you to heaven and back or you’re not going anywhere.
Haven’t you heard them say “God forbid!!! I will never bury my child”.
God himself may have had to intervene if Mary was Nigerian so she’d allow Jesus be nailed to the cross and do the needful for our salvation.
After all said & done; Mrs. Mary was a true queen & well deserving to be the earthly mother of the Lord. Also, Nigerian mothers are incredible!!!
Disclaimer: This is in no way intended to be blasphemous or disrespectful to the Nigerian mother or Christian religion. The power of imagination and humor is given by God himself hence this post.
May miracles engulf you this week!!!
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